Pregnancy is a wonderful time for an expecting mother, but it can also bring about some unwanted attention and weird remarks from complete strangers. While most people have good intentions, sometimes their words can be hurtful, insensitive, or just plain rude. Here are 12 of the rudest things you could say to a pregnant woman.
“Are you sure you’re not having twins?”
This comment can make a pregnant woman self-conscious about her body and weight gain. Many women feel conflicted about the impact of pregnancy on their bodies. It doesn’t help when other folks point out their obvious weight gain. Unless a woman chooses to share that she is having twins, don’t ask!
“You must be having a girl/boy because of the way you’re carrying.”
There is no scientific evidence to support this old wives’ tale, so it’s best not to make assumptions. Additionally, don’t ask her if she wants a boy or a girl. It’s not your business.
“You look like you’re about to pop!”
This comment can make a pregnant woman feel uncomfortable about her appearance. Be assured every expecting mom is very aware of her expanding body. Just like with any other person, commenting on someone’s body size can be hurtful and unnecessary.
“You must be so tired all the time.”
Being pregnant does come with its challenges, but this comment can come across as dismissive of the hard work a woman’s body is doing to grow a baby. Many women continue to work full-time, manage a family, and exercise during their pregnancy.
“Are you sure you should be eating/doing that?”
Unless you’re a medical professional, it’s best not to question a pregnant woman’s choices. Trust that she knows what is best for her and her baby. Making an expecting mom feel guilty about her food choices is not helpful.
“Are you planning on having a natural birth?”
A woman’s birth plan is personal and should not be questioned or judged. Please refrain from offering scary stories about different birthing methods. Every pregnant woman has her private concerns; please don’t add to her anxiety by judging her birth plan or sharing terrifying examples of childbirth.
“Pregnancy must be so easy for you.”
Pregnancy can bring about many challenges, both physically and emotionally. Don’t make assumptions about someone else’s experience. Just because a woman might look slimmer or smaller than other expecting moms doesn’t mean she isn’t struggling in some way.
“You’re going to have your hands full with two!”
While this may be true, it can also come across as negative and overwhelming for an expecting mother. Many expecting women have unspoken fears about being a good mom. It doesn’t help to turn their focus toward the challenges of caring for two newborns.
“Are you going to get your body back after the baby is born?”
This comment implies that a woman’s body is no longer desirable or attractive after giving birth. Many women worry about accepting their bodies after giving birth. Some women harbor a deep fear that their partner will no longer see them as sexy after becoming a mom. It can take up to 6 months for the changes in a woman’s body to slow down and stabilize after giving birth.
“Having a baby at your age? Aren’t you worried about the risks?
This comment is not only rude but also dismissive of a woman’s personal choices and family planning. No one is entitled to the private details about the timing of a woman’s pregnancy. There are so many personal reasons why women choose to have a baby; please withhold your judgment about her age.
“Are you sure it’s safe to travel? Shouldn’t you be at home resting?”
Every woman’s pregnancy is different, and some women may choose to continue traveling until the baby arrives. Many couples plan a “babymoon,” enjoying quality time together before the birth of the baby. The decision on whether to travel and how far to travel at any time during pregnancy should be a joint decision between her and her doctor.
“You’ll never sleep again once the baby comes.”
This statement can add unnecessary stress and pressure on an expecting mother who is already trying to prepare for a major life change. Telling a pregnant woman, “You should enjoy your sleep now because you won’t get any once the baby arrives,” is a very doomsday-type comment. Every newborn is different; no one can be certain of a baby’s sleeping patterns.
As a society, we should make conscious efforts to support pregnant women instead of making them feel self-conscious, judged, or insecure. Pregnancy is a beautiful journey, and every mother’s experience is unique. Let’s focus on choosing our words carefully or maybe just offer a friendly smile instead. Pregnant women are creating new life, and that deserves nothing but respect and admiration!
So, the next time you see a pregnant woman, skip these rude comments and simply offer your congratulations! Your kindness and support are exactly what she needs to hear!
Melane Ann is a writer, blogger, and life coach. In 2020, she turned her experience in midlife divorce and creating a new life for herself into midlifeismagical. With a master's in Marriage and Family Therapy, Melane focuses on helping women over 50 navigate their relationships and commit to healthy aging. She and her new husband share 7 children between them. Melane jokes that she has a black belt in blended families! In addition to her writing, Melane works virtually with her coaching clients from her home office.