Breaking Free from the Doom Spiral: How to Save Your Relationship (or Not)
Success leaves clues, and so does failure! If you think your relationship might be headed toward a painful break-up, try to identify the core issues to help stabilize things with your partner. An honest evaluation of your relationship is the first step to making improvements. Use the quick relationship tips below to help you start meaningful conversations. Although seeing a couples therapist is most effective, these ideas might help you patch things up until your communication improves.
Remember, all relationships need a tune-up now and then; there is no shame in asking for help. And let’s acknowledge that not all relationships are meant to be; sometimes, we must walk away to save ourselves.
Lack of Effort
Relationships take effort from both parties to make them work. If you find that one person is no longer putting in the effort, it can create an imbalance and strain the relationship. Communicate your concerns honestly and try to understand why one person may not be putting in effort. Ask your partner if they still want to make the relationship a priority and work towards improving it.
Constant Criticism
Criticism can be helpful in small doses, but it can chip away at a relationship when it becomes constant and harsh. If you or your partner constantly criticize each other, it may be a sign that the relationship is no longer healthy. Focus on expressing your needs and feelings rather than attacking each other.
Lack of Intimacy
Intimacy is an important part of any romantic relationship. If you and your partner have stopped being intimate, it could be a sign that something is missing in the relationship. As scary as it might sound, it’s time to have an honest conversation about your sexual desires and needs.
Growing Apart
Having different values from your partner can cause conflict and tension in a relationship. This can refer to core beliefs, life goals, or even fundamental personality differences. Do your best to find ways to compromise and meet each other’s needs without sacrificing your own values.
Daydreaming About Being Single
If you’re constantly daydreaming about being single, it may be a sign that you’re unhappy in your relationship. Carefully talk to your partner about your feelings, and see if you can work through them together. Be prepared for your partner to feel hurt and rejected during this conversation, but it could be a turning point for both of you to express your needs.
Feeling Like You Are Walking On Eggshells
If you feel like you’re constantly walking on eggshells around your partner, it may be a sign that the relationship is toxic. Talk to your partner about how you’re feeling, and see if they’re willing to change their behavior. Some anger issues need professional help to bring awareness and solutions.
Different Parenting Styles
If you have different parenting styles, it’s important to talk about how you can compromise. If you can’t find a compromise, it may be a sign that you’re not compatible in the long run. Please talk to a therapist to see if you can resolve this issue before it causes long-term damage for your family.
Feeling Stuck
Feeling stuck in a relationship can be incredibly frustrating and draining. If you or your partner feel like you’re going in circles and can’t seem to make any progress, it may be a sign that the relationship is not working. Take some time to have open and honest discussions about your feelings of being stuck in the relationship.
Constant Arguing
Every couple argues from time to time, but if it feels like you’re constantly arguing over the same things without resolution, it could be a sign that your relationship is in trouble. Constant arguing can lead to feelings of frustration, exhaustion, and resentment. Try to avoid placing blame on one another and instead work together to identify your behavior in the problem cycle.
Feeling Resentful
Resentment can build up over time in a relationship, especially when needs and concerns aren’t being addressed. If you find that you or your partner are harboring feelings of resentment towards each other, it may be a sign that the relationship is no longer working. Do your best to express your feelings of resentment calmly and productively. Try scheduling a time to grab a drink or snack together and begin to share your feelings with your partner.
If you’re experiencing any of the signs above, it’s important to talk to your partner about how you’re feeling. If you’re willing to try, couples therapy can help you to work through your problems and improve your relationship. Most problems can be solved, but some relationships will never be healthy. However, if you feel unhappy, disrespected, afraid or anxious in the relationship, it’s okay to respectfully and carefully end it.
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This article was written and syndicated by Midlife is Magical.
Melane Ann is a writer, blogger, and life coach. In 2020, she turned her experience in midlife divorce and creating a new life for herself into midlifeismagical. With a master's in Marriage and Family Therapy, Melane focuses on helping women over 50 navigate their relationships and commit to healthy aging. She and her new husband share 7 children between them. Melane jokes that she has a black belt in blended families! In addition to her writing, Melane works virtually with her coaching clients from her home office.
