Can’t Sleep At Night? You Might Need A Sleep Divorce To Save Your Marriage!

Married couples are often encouraged to do everything together – from grocery shopping and exercising to socializing and of course, sleeping! While this may work for some, it’s not always the healthiest option for every couple. In fact, many married people suffer from sleeping problems due to having to share a bed with their partner. This is where a “sleep divorce” comes in – the idea of sleeping separately from one’s significant other to improve sleep quality and overall health.


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One of the most common sleep disorders, insomnia, affects millions worldwide. For married couples who struggle with this condition, sharing a bed can exacerbate the problem as one partner’s tossing and turning or snoring may disturb the other’s sleep. Sleeping separately can give each partner the space they need to get a good night’s rest without disturbing the other.

Nighttime Waking

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Similar to insomnia, nighttime waking can be disruptive for both partners. Whether it’s due to frequent bathroom breaks or nightmares, constantly waking up throughout the night can leave couples feeling exhausted and irritable the next day. A sleep divorce allows each partner to have uninterrupted sleep, leading to better overall health and well-being.

Different Sleep Schedules

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Many couples have different work schedules or simply prefer to go to bed and wake up at different times. This can be difficult when sharing a bed, as one partner may end up disturbing the other’s sleep routine. A sleep divorce allows each person to stick to their preferred schedule without worrying about disrupting their partner’s sleep.

Temperature Preferences

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Another common issue among couples who share a bed is differing temperature preferences. One partner may want the room warmer, while the other prefers a cooler environment. This can lead to arguments or one partner feeling uncomfortable throughout the night. Sleeping separately allows each person to control their own sleep environment and set it to their liking.


Photo Credit: Vecteezy.

A common complaint among partners who share a bed, snoring can range from mild to severe and can significantly impact the quality of sleep for both individuals. Sleeping separately eliminates this issue and allows each partner to get the restful sleep they need.

Restless Leg Syndrome

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This neurological disorder can cause unpleasant sensations in the legs, leading to difficulty falling asleep and staying asleep. A sleep divorce can provide much-needed relief for couples with one partner who suffers from this condition.

Snuggling Isn’t Always Comfortable

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While snuggling with your significant other can be a cozy and romantic activity, it’s not always comfortable for sleeping purposes. For some people, feeling trapped or too hot while cuddling can make it difficult to fall asleep, leading to frustration and discomfort. Sleeping separately allows each partner to find their own ideal sleeping position without compromising on intimacy during waking hours.

Personal Space

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Everyone needs their personal space, even in a relationship. Sharing a bed can make it difficult for couples to have individual time and space, leading to feelings of suffocation or resentment. Sleeping separately allows partners to have designated sleep space, promoting autonomy and independence within the relationship.

Reduce Tension and Arguments

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Sleep deprivation can lead to higher stress levels and irritability, which can cause tension and arguments between partners. By sleeping separately, couples can avoid these conflicts and maintain a more harmonious relationship outside of the bedroom.

Improve Physical Intimacy

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Contrary to popular belief, sleeping separately does not mean sacrificing physical intimacy in a relationship. In fact, it can actually improve it! When each partner is well-rested and feeling their best, they are more likely to have the energy and desire for intimate moments with their significant other.

It’s Okay to Have Different Needs

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It’s important for couples to understand that it’s okay to have different needs and preferences when it comes to sleep. Just because one partner may need a “sleep divorce” to get the rest they need doesn’t mean the relationship is wrong. In fact, it can lead to a stronger and more understanding partnership where each person’s needs are respected and prioritized.

A “sleep divorce” can improve overall health and relationship dynamics, making it a worthwhile consideration for any married couple struggling with sleep issues. So next time you find yourself tossing and turning in the middle of the night, consider trying a “sleep divorce” – you may be surprised at the positive impact it can have on your life!

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Melane Ann is a writer, blogger, and life coach. In 2020, she turned her experience in midlife divorce and creating a new life for herself into midlifeismagical. With a master's in Marriage and Family Therapy, Melane focuses on helping women over 50 navigate their relationships and commit to healthy aging. She and her new husband share 7 children between them. Melane jokes that she has a black belt in blended families! In addition to her writing, Melane works virtually with her coaching clients from her home office.

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