Why are narcissists so sexy? Maybe you’ve dated one and felt like you were living in a never-ending nightmare, or you might just be curious about common narcissistic traits and behaviors in relationships. Let’s find out why narcissists are so alluring, how to spot them, and, most importantly, know when it’s time to move on to a healthy partner.
Narcissists Have False Confidence
Narcissists exude a false sense of confidence that can be intriguing to those with low levels of self-confidence. Being around someone who appears confident can make you feel more confident as well. Take time to observe how you feel when you are with a new romantic partner. Do you feel good about yourself or are you feeling thankful they are spending time with you?
Narcissists Have Charisma
They have a certain charm and charisma that draws people in. Some research shows that successful leaders possess narcissistic traits, which can be seen as attractive and desirable in certain contexts. Ask yourself: Why am I giving this person so much attention? How do they make me feel?
Narcissists Are Confident In Bed
Narcissists can be very confident and skilled in the bedroom, which can be a major turn-on for some people. Some narcissists like to hear lots of praise and excitement about their performance, making them the star of the show. Be curious if your partner seems to need excessive praise for their sexual performance.
Narcissists Are Masters At Flattery
Narcissists are masters at flattery, making their targets feel special and desired. Known as “love bombing,” a narcissistic partner will overwhelm you with compliments, attention, and gifts. Once they have hooked you, they will turn on you, withdrawing the special love that you once felt with them. Be mindful that any excessive behavior from your potential partner might be a red flag.
Narcissists Are Manipulative
Narcissists are skilled at manipulating others to get what they want, making them appear powerful and in control. Pay attention when you are talking with your potential romantic partner. Listen for clues that they are trying to get you to control you. They might use teasing or light shaming to make you feel like your ideas and thoughts are not worthwhile.
Narcissists Crave Attention
Narcissists crave attention and will go to great lengths to get it, making them seem extra confident and outgoing. People with narcissistic traits need “fuel” from potential partners to prop up their flimsy self-image. If your romantic partner is always fishing for compliments, consider that they might have low self-esteem issues.
Narcissists Are Very Good At Self Promotion
They are constantly promoting themselves and their accomplishments, which can be impressive to potential romantic partners. Narcissists might have valid reasons to be proud of themselves, but they want to make sure you know how great they are! Inflating their work promotions, actual income, or financial investments helps a narcissist feel like he is winning.
Narcissists Are Known For Their Grandiosity
Narcissists often have grandiose ideas and extravagant plans, which can be exciting and attractive in the beginning. There is nothing wrong with having big goals and dreams, but if your romantic partner seems to only focus on an expensive and extreme lifestyle, you might want to slow things down.
Narcissists Have Charming Personalities
They are experts at charming others with their quick wit and eye-catching behavior. Narcissists seek loads of positive attention; they need to feel unique and extra special. Make sure your potential romantic partner has some down-to-earth qualities and is happy to celebrate your achievements as well.
Naricisstics Will Try To Please Their Partners In The Beginning
Narcissists often go above and beyond to please their partners, making them feel desired and wanted. Don’t forget that this behavior is called “love bombing” and is designed to accelerate your bond with the narcissist. Once a narcissist is certain that they have you, they will begin the next step of their cycle: devaluing. Devaluing is when a narcissist starts verbalizing criticism and contempt for you as a person. They might start to tease you, publicly embarrass you, or privately tell you that you are a disappointment to them. Any of this behavior is a serious warning that your relationship is emotionally unhealthy.
If you notice these traits in someone, it’s important to proceed with caution and don’t ignore red flags in the relationship! A mental health professional must diagnose true Narcissistic Personality Disorder, but we all need to be aware of narcissistic traits that can be damaging to relationships. It’s not easy to leave a toxic romantic relationship, especially when you are in love with a narcissist. But by recognizing their behaviors and taking steps to protect yourself, you can break free and move on to healthier relationships.
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This article was produced and syndicated by Midlife is Magical.
Melane Ann is a writer, blogger, and life coach. In 2020, she turned her experience in midlife divorce and creating a new life for herself into midlifeismagical. With a master's in Marriage and Family Therapy, Melane focuses on helping women over 50 navigate their relationships and commit to healthy aging. She and her new husband share 7 children between them. Melane jokes that she has a black belt in blended families! In addition to her writing, Melane works virtually with her coaching clients from her home office.